KASTRATIONSANGST

I had to go to the man in the white coat's place again today. Jesus, enough already! I'm sick of going there, and I'm sick of having him stick things up my bum. I'm not a rent boy!
But, something strange is going on. Craig and Hanni were talking to the man and the word "kastration" kept cropping up. So when I got back here, I had a look in my German dictionary and found the meaning. I'm not happy.
If they think they're chopping my bollocks off, they've got another think coming. How dare they? This is outrageous behaviour. I'm writing to Amnesty International, I'm sure I've got good grounds for a complaint about my human (well, canine...) rights being abused.
I've not even used them yet. Sure, I've been messin' around, humpin' a human leg here and there, but that's just practising. I wanna get me some bitch action before these humans get choppin'!

A SICKLY DOGGY

I keep having to go back to see the man in the white coat. It's not fair. I don't like him; he sticks things in my bum.
I've been a bit pukey for the last few days. It's all yellow and watery. I don't like puking, but I just don't see how going to see the white coat man will help. All he's interested in is a) feeling my bum, and b) Craig and Hanni's money.