10 November 2005

I wanna rock

My new favourite group is Scooter. I was downloading some stuff last night. I like them! They are like a bit techno-y. They have one bloke who does lots of shouting, and two blokes who press buttons. I think I want to be in a group. I'd be the singer cos I've got charisma, I think. I've been practising holding a mic with an toilet-roll tube. I look good.
Oh, blimey, I just did such a stinky fart! It smells like old leaves and milk! When Craig comes back ot his desk he's gonna puke with surprise! Ha ha!

07 November 2005

Children

This morning, we went to the local coffee shop so that Craig could get a drink. There was another little dog in there who was a bit snappy, so I ignored him. There was also a little child human there. They are funny things, huh? I'm not 2 years old yet, but I can run and jump and play football and swim in the sea. Human childs? They're rubbish, they can't even stroke my head without poking me in the eye with their big clumsy paws. What's that all about, eh? I can lick my own penis all day long if I want to; humans, though, well, they won't even attempt to do it til they're about 13 or so, and even then they can't do it. Dogs win!

05 November 2005

Sick little me

Hello. It's been a while. I've been poorly. It was horrible. I was having a wonderful time visiting my granny and grandpa, then I started feeling a bit odd. Then red stuff started coming out of my bottom. Then I had to go to see a vet man, who I don't like seeing. Still I felt bad. Poor little me.
The vet man said I had something called enteritis, which is something wrong inside my body.
It took aaaaages for me to feel better again, and I couldn't eat stuff for aaaaages, either.
But now, I feel a bit better. I'm back at home with Craig, and I'm giving him my sick puppy eyes so that he's extra nice to me.