Who hasn't, at one time or another, wondered how their life could've gone in other directions if different events had occurred or different choices made?
There are countless people who are probably rueing their decision not to revise too hard for that crucial exam, and there's gotta be a handful of men in Germany wishing they'd been a bit nicer to that Heidi Klum girl they sat next to in biology class. There's also gonna be a few people who are glad they failed their military medical exam.
Thinking about this a bit more, I made the chart. These are the various ways my life could have turned from its actual path (numbers 1-12).
1. I was born 22 September 1970 in a hospital in Lincoln, UK.
2. I ran away from home. Stupidly, I ran away in my carpet slippers, and returned home an hour later.
3. My father, Steven Robinson (an architect), showed interest in taking a job in the Gilbert Islands (now known as Kiribati). This group of Pacific islands straddles the Equator. I'm not sure why we didn't go.
4. At twelve years old, my love of football does not translate into skill on the pitch.
5. Two months before my 17th birthday, my dad dies after a heart attack.
6. I studied at Lincolnshire College Of Art & Design, and grew my hair into a pair of horrific curtains and often wore a horrible 808 State long-sleeved t-shirt.
7. After art college, I went to the University Of Derby and studied jewellery. Derby was my second choice, but I didn't do well enough at art college to get into Sheffield University.
8. Financially broke after all that studying, I got a job at Radio City, an independent record shop in his home town.
9. Eyes sparkling with dreams of big city life, I got a job in London working for 3MV, a record distribution company.
10. I bought an iMac and set about turning some of my silly ideas into a website called Flip Flop Flyin'.
11. After a moderate amount of success with the website, I'm offered a job working as a designer for Defcom, a Berlin-based company.
12. On the eve of the release of my first book, Minipops, I rushed to complete an illustration for Slash Magazine, and wrote these words after drinking a couple of beers whilst watching a ladies football match between Germany and Holland at the Friedrich Ludwig Jahn Sportpark. The final score was a dreadfully dull 0-0.
13. I ran away from home, remembering to put on my shoes at the last minute.
14. Much to my parents' delight, I was found a few days after running away. A bit dirty and cold, but nothing a warm bath and a few hugs doesn't sort out.
15. I buy an iMac. It soon became apparent that its sole use was as a glorified porno mag.
16. I got promoted at 3MV, giving me a bit more money and responsibility.
17. After 3MV files for bankruptcy, I found myself unemployed at the age of 34 with no tangible skills to put down on my C.V.
18. My parents' worst fears are realised when I was found dead in a shallow grave amongst some trees in Doddington Park. To this day, my killer has not been caught.
19. My application to study jewellery at Sheffield University is accepted.
20. Broke, but with eyes sparkling with dreams of big city life, I took a job working at a central London branch of HMV.
21. Three years of loyal service lead me to become assistant manager of the Piccadilly, London branch of HMV.
22. As I entered his mid thirties, I became manager of HMV's Oxford Street store.
23. After leaving Sheffield University, I set up as a professional jeweller.
24. My jewellery career is boosted by a sales contract with a department store in Tokyo.
25. I moved to Japan, where my jewellery is quite a hit with the young and wealthy.
26. My father suffers a heart attack. Thankfully, he made a steady recovery.
27. Inspired by my father, I studied architecture.
28. I won a prestigious architecture competition. My design, though, remains un-built.
29. My star continues to rise with a burgeoning international architecture portfolio.
30. At 34 years old, I was commissioned to design the new building on the site of the World Trade Center in New York.
31. At twelve years old, my football skills earned me a place in the school team.
32. My form for the school team bought me to the attention of local Division 4 team, Lincoln City Football Club.
33. Just shy of my 17th birthday, I made my professional debut for Lincoln City.
34. Transferred to non-league team Yeovil Town.
35. Transferred to fellow non-league team Kidderminster Harriers.
36. At the age of 26, my good form for the Harriers lead to a transfer to Division 3 team, York City.
37. Two seasons later, I returned to play for my home town team, Lincoln City.
38. My football career came to an end after breaking my leg.
39. At 34, I became youth team coach at Lincoln City.
40. My form for Lincoln City attracted the attention of Division 1 team, Liverpool Football Club. I soon established myself as a crowd favourite when a last minute tackle secures the points which take Liverpool to another league title in 1989.
41. I scored twice in the 2-1 victory over arch-rivals Manchester United in the 1996 FA Cup final.
42. I captained Liverpool in 2001, achieving success at home and in Europe, winning an unprecedented cup treble.
43. Having played for Liverpool for 16 years, I announced my retirement at the age of 34.
44. Success with Liverpool brought interest from Italian giants, Juventus, with whom I won my European Cup winners medal.
45. After four seasons in Italy, I left to play in Germany for Bayern Munich. My good luck with the European Cup continues as I scored Bayern's second goal in the 2-0 victory over Manchester United in 1999's final.
46. With a transfer to Real Madrid of Spain, I became the highest paid English player in professional football.
47. At the World Cup in Japan and South Korea in 2002, I scored a vital second goal against Brazil in the quarter-final. I became the first England captain to lift the World Cup for 36 years, after beating Germany 5-0 in the final.
48. As my career drew to an end, I returned to England to play for Manchester City.
49. My father takes the job in the Gilbert Islands. My childhood was filled with fishing and diving and playing football on the beaches.
50. At 17, I began work as a fisherman.
51. In my mid twenties, I bought my own boat for fishing, and later, taking tourists out on diving trips.
52. I continued fishing and diving well into my thirties. I was living a wonderful life in paradise.
53. I was born 22 September 1970 in a hospital in Lincoln, UK; four days after the death of Jimi Hendrix.
54. At the age of four, I am described my music professors as a 'prodigious talent'. My grandmother believes me to be the reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix.
55. After art college, my band, The Rollerskates, released their eponymous debut album. Rolling Stone described it as, 'a future classic'.
56. After moving to Los Angeles to record the second album, A Taste For Danger, I began dabbling with drugs. Rolling Stone described A Taste For Danger as, 'a huge disappointment'.
57. Returning to LA after the A Taste For Danger World Tour, I became more dependent on cocaine and heroin.
58. Nearing my thirties, I was a heroin addict. Split from my band, I record a solo album entitled Brown. Rolling Stone said, 'Advice to those who think heroin is cool: listen to Brown'.
59. After time in rehab, I record an MTV Unplugged show. The album of the show was widely seen as a return to form by the press. Rolling Stone called it 'a brutal and frail work; who knows where Robinson can go from here...'.
60. After the A Taste For Danger World Tour, my life spiralled out of control. I was found dead in my bathroom. The coroner's report said, 'Robinson died of a heart attack, brought on my use of crack cocaine'.
61. Following Brown's terrible reviews, I quit the music business and made repeated attempts to quit drugs.
62. Barely recognisable as the rock god of a decade before, I am a bloated alcoholic, living in Lincoln, Nebraska.